Karva Chauth

 

Karva Chauth (Hindi: करवा चौथ, Punjabi: ਕਰਵਾ ਚੌਥ, Urdu: کروا چوتھ) is an annual one-day festival celebrated by Hindu and some Sikh women in North India and parts of Pakistan in which married women fast from sunrise to moonrise for the safety and longevity of their husbands.--wikipedia

Every fall I am concerned about where to find the moon as it first rises in the evening . On Karva Chauth, my wife Shalini, who has been fasting all day on my behalf, and I drive around the pioneer valley hoping to find the moon as soon as possible. When we finally spot it, her fast is broken after she observes the moon first by looking through a sieve (our salad strainer), then pours water around the moon three times, and then prays for my long life. She is rewarded with sweets and a nice take out Indian meal.

Yes, this is an unusual ritual to be practicing in New England. In some respects the custom seems among the most foreign of the cross cultural experiences I have brought into my life. At face value, viewed from my western perspective, it seems a little pagan with Wicca overtones. Even in Northern India where it is still practiced, it is seen as a romantic, if antiquated festival. Nonetheless, this is one of the cultural customs that I have incorporated in my life.

The learning curve has been steep with a few bumps along the way. I made the mistake the first few years by eating in front of my wife during this day. Bad move. Also, I found that since my Mom lives far away and most likely would not participate in this traditional ritual, I am to prepare a gourmet breakfast before sunrise. These are easy things that I am more than willing to do, after all she is starving on my account. (I don’t do well with fasting and am very impressed with those who can). The greatest challenge, however, is finding the elusive moon.

Apparently it is hard to predict where the moon might be by observing the skies a few weeks prior. Google is useful in determining moonrise. But the tree line, mountain ranges, and cloudy weather have all put extra challenges in the way. One year while we were in Utah, we hunted for an hour, before getting on highway 80 and heading west out into the Wasatch valley for several miles. After turning around at an exit and heading down the entry ramp I spotted the moon (shalini can’t look at the moon except through a sieve), and abruptly pulled off the highway so she could perform the ceremony, while cars were rushing by.

In another year in Utah we looked and gave up because of cloud cover. Upon returning home, the clouds parted and the moon was right above the house.

While in the Amherst area I discovered that Hadley, more specifically the empty Shopping mall parking lot is a good area for moon spotting. Most years we have been lucky after a period of looking and waiting for clouds to part, except two years ago which was a rain out. I improvised by having a live image of the moon on my computer, and taking it outside in the covered porch, for her to perform the ceremony. I did not want to jeopardize my health.

Last year I was all organized. A special muffin purchased the night before from Whole Foods, along with a three egg omelet was delivered by 6:30 am. Sunrise was at 6:50. Although cloudy during the day the clouds were starting to thin with a few patches of sky visible. To save time I picked up take out from Paradise of India in our route to the mall so we could head straight home after spotting the moon. Walking out of the restaurant, while crossing the street I was busy scanning the sky, noticing some light breaking through the clouds. It was looking promising! Oblivious to traffic, last year’s ritual was still working for us as I was not hit by passing cars. After a short drive and while turning into the mall, I looked up and saw the moon making its way through the clouds. Overly excited about such an early sighting, I started careening into the oncoming lane of the parking lot road. The car behind me honked. Laughing, I righted the car and parked. Shalini immediately performed the ritual. Looking through the salad strainer, and pouring water in a circular motion completed the ceremony and saying the appropriate prayers. I gave her some gourmet dark chocolate candy bar, thanked her, and we both had some trail mix while driving back to eat a delicious meal. I was set for another year.

Although a little different, every year I look forward to this.

A Free Lunch?

 

On Saturday we eat lunch out.   We never know what’s going to be on the menu. And we have to eat while walking around.  It's usually quite a feast as it was during our last visit.

Jicama, red cherries, cheddar cheese, masala chai, garlic and lemon olives , robusto guda style cheese,  matcha lemonade, and assorted breads.

On check out we were asked whether we found what we were looking for.  I answered, yes, and more. 

Indeed, sampling is a core part of Wholefoods strategy.   Experts feel the more you eat the more you buy. 

Do you succumb?



Sea Changes at the Pool?

This summer my daughter Courtney lifeguards at the war memorial pool in Amherst.   I stop by occasionally to swim some laps with her on her breaks.

One day post workout, we were talking about how pool rules have changed over the years.  Instead of jumping in the pool anywhere from the edge as was done in my day, swimmers at the War Memorial pool can only enter via jump zones, designated by blue mats. “It’s safer this way,” my daughter authoritatively explained.

I told her it was just a sign of the over protective times….  We used to ride our 5 miles to the pool and go off of a frightening tall high dive.

When I informed her that when her age, I was trained as a lifeguard, she found this hard to believe.  I started rattling off the types of saves:  throwing the buoy, cross chest carry, hair tow, ….  Incredulous she said, “Stop, no way.  Dragging by the hair would be barbaric, you are making this up.”

Evidence and Memories by Google.

Back home, I went to Google for support.  A link to the history of lifesaving  (http://faculty.deanza.edu/donahuemary/Historyoflifesaving) reports the following.

“A 1982 printing of American Red Cross Lifesaving Rescue and Water Safety, says in part: "If a person is in danger of drowning only a short distance from shore and there is no rescue equipment of any kind available, the untrained swimmer may feel that is it necessary to attempt the rescue. In such cases, the rescuer should swim to a position behind the victim and make contact with the victim by seizing the person's hair."

Lifeguard certification cards (advanced lifesaving and water safety) featured a drawing of the silhouettes of a man dragging a buxom female victim through the water on her back by her hair. “

It turns out the hair tow was also practiced in 1977.  Those were barbaric days indeed.

However, Google crushed two other memories.

It looks like the high dive at Plymouth pool in Midland, MI was replaced by a water slide, thus we will never know how high it was.

And, the five mile bike ride to the pool we made daily during my childhood was not as far as I remembered (1.9 miles via google maps).

What memories have you confirmed or disconfirmed with Google?

A family recipe for mindful tea.

This summer at a family reunion with 15 guests in our house--that brought all the laughter and chaos one could imagine--I received a recipe for mindfulness.

The mindfulness I am referring to has been defined by Thich Nhat Hanh as being “truly alive, present and at one with those around you and with what you are doing.”  

I got to experience mindful action by three Indian brothers in their 70’s, 60’s, and 50’s who were visiting us. 

In the still of the early morning, when most guests were asleep, I witnessed a morning ritual that was the epitome of mindfulness. 

On successive mornings, each of the brothers (my father in law and his two younger siblings), would take turns preparing morning bed tea for each other.  The recipe and procedure has been passed down since their childhood.

This was a still and precise event.  Although repeated many times through their lives, it was performed as it was done for the first time.

Step by step, the family algorithm was followed.  Each step was tested with affectionate curiosity and the mind of a beginner.

 At the end of the tea preparation, the three brothers in their pajamas would sit on our deck and ceremoniously drink the tea that each other had lovingly prepared for the group.

The Bahl family bed tea algorithm was shared with me and now I share it with you.

1.       Heat water in electric kettle

2.       Add hot water to tea pot to warm it up.

3.       Pour water in cups to warm them up

4.       Three teaspoons of Darjeeling tea. Loose, premium quality

5.       Two bags of Lipton yellow label tea

6.       Fill pot with boiling water. Approx. 6 cups

7.       Cover with tea cozy (2 minutes)

8.       Heat milk in microwave. 

9.       Quarter teaspoon into the tea

10.   Pour the tea through a strainer (add sugar before, milk afterwards as needed)

11.   Makes approx. five cups.

Travelling the Mindfulness Path

As I was heading out the door my wife reminded me to make sure to wear my helmet while I biked to work.   In preparation, I took my bike out of the garage and placed my helmet on the back rack.  Prior to leaving I gave directions to our gardeners, and then was on my way.

My route starts by climbing up a tenth of a mile steep driveway, followed by a quarter of a mile flat, and then exiting the neighborhood down a half mile long hill.   I was enjoying the breeze and the fast glide with no effort.  Upon turning the corner at the bottom of the hill, my mind started wandering, going back to the conversation with the gardeners.  Suddenly I became aware I had forgotten to put on my helmet. 

Angry at my carelessness I immediately turned around to head back home and went into low gear for the uphill journey.  I reminded myself to be more mindful in the future.  This triggered the thought--why not be more mindful now?  With observation, I realized my tunnel-vision, with my mind racing, frantically heading up the hill to correct the problem.  As I relaxed, the scope of my thoughts expanded--I wondered where the helmet had fallen off.  Probably going up the steep driveway I concluded.

I am not sure how much was attributed to the steep climb up the hill or the continued mindful observation, but with further awareness and mind relaxation (but not my legs!) I decided to check my assumptions.  I stopped my bike and looked at my back rack.   There was the helmet.

How many times do we fail to be mindful and base our decision making on emotional scripts and don’t consider alternative courses of action?  The steep hill reminded me of many lessons I knew but didn’t apply. 

First, it’s important to me more mindful in all our actions.   I often quote Ben Franklin and say that “a step in time saves nine.”  In this case mindful-action at the start of the trip would have saved the possible return trip up the hill. 

Second, when trouble in life occurs, it’s important to be mindful and slow down, so that narrow, unproductive scripts do not take over your decision making. 

Third, I need look for an alternative, less steep route to return to home.

How does life remind you to be more mindful?   What lessons have you recently learned along the mindfulness path?